Day 2 of the Rest of My Life
My Journey through the 24-day Challenge
(Or, Why am I Doing This Crazy Thing?)
The Confession
I have a terrible temper. When I'm really mad, I even throw things.
There, I've said it.
Very few people know this about me, even close friends. In fact, those who know me personally often comment on my calm and patient demeanor. The true story is that I have a pretty long fuse, but when I get to the end of it, the result can be sudden and explosive.
Lately with Duane gone so much of the time, I've struggled to keep things together at home with our four children. In the evenings when we're all tired and cranky, I've had more blow ups than ever.* The harsh words ring in my ears and my heart hurts to see the kids turn around and explode at one another, domino style. My frustration with the children has only been surpassed by the sadness I feel when I go to the mirror and look myself in the eye...
In tears, I cried out to God to help me. That was 2 weeks ago...
*No children were harmed in the making of this blog.
I feel I should be clear that I have never thrown anything at my children (or anyone else) or become physically or emotionally abusive towards them in any way. While my anger is definitely ugly, it's not mean or violent.
Hi Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so brave in your openness. I confess I also let my temper take over sometimes. And people think I'm all nice and calm! Well, not always. Raising kids has definitely been the HARDEST thing I've ever done. It's shown me my weaknesses more than anything else. All I know to do is, pray, pray, pray. Thanks for sharing. :)
Lisa, thanks for the encouragement. We moms need to know we're not in the boat alone because parenting takes more than we have within ourselves. I think God made it that way so we have to rely on Him and on the people around us.
ReplyDeleteI believe God gives us children to help mold us into the image of His Son. The family is the place where we are free to be ourself; the good, bad and the ugly. Praise God, His mercies are new every morning. I have had to ask my children to forgive my bad temper tantrums. In asking forgiveness, the child learns that the parent is not perfect; only God is perfect and they learn how to forgive and be forgiven.
ReplyDeleteChyrl, this is so true. I think apologizing to a child is also good because it acknowledges that the angry behavior is not okay. Some children grow up believing they deserve to be treated that way and have trouble setting boundaries as adults.
ReplyDelete